And Still They Bloom
A Family's Journey of Loss and Healing
And Still They Bloom: A Family’s Journey of Loss and Healing
Written by Amy Rovere, Illustrated by Joel Spector
Published by the American Cancer Society
ISBN 978-160443-036-3, 8 x 10, 40 pages, ages 8–12
List price: $14.95
Losing a loved one is hard. The grief can be overwhelming for every family member--especially for children, who may have a hard time understanding and expressing their feelings, And Still They Bloom can help.
After losing their mother to cancer, Emily and Ben go through many feelings, anger, sadness, fear, and hopelessness. Guided by conversations with their father, both children learn to understand and express their feelings and begin the path to acceptance of their loss. Together, the family discovers different ways to keep their loved one's memory alive. Like the flowers in the garden, the family emerges from their grief to "bloom" once more.
Author Explores Loss and Healing from Children’s Perspective
When I was nine years old, my mother died of lung cancer. Afterwards, I was devastated. But like many grieving children, I didn’t have the ability to put my feelings into words. Grief is complicated, and talking about grief can be incredibly difficult for both children and adults. My family struggled. It wasn’t until years later, as an adult, that I started to deal with all those hidden feelings related to my mother’s death. My grandmother had died, and I was trying to help my young daughter cope with her own grief. During that process, I began to question how I would support and comfort her if and when other losses happened in our family. Further, what would I want my daughter to know if I was the one who died and wasn’t there for her? These questions led me to start writing, and through the writing process, I finally began to come to terms with my grief.
The process of exploring questions about loss and how to respond to them culminated in the book, And Still They Bloom: A Family’s Journey of Loss and Healing. Published by the American Cancer Society in 2012, this children’s picture book is based on my personal knowledge of loss. It explores the grieving process, with the goal of helping children in a similar situation feel less alone in their grief.
Whether it is a parent, sibling, or friend, the death of a loved one is traumatic, and family dynamics change after a loss. Parents, as well as children, need support and guidance as they struggle to adapt to their changed world and begin to heal.
And Still They Bloom follows siblings Emily and Ben as they struggle to come to terms with the death of their mother. Joel Spector’s beautiful, moving illustrations capture both heartbreak and healing after such a devastating loss. The children experience the pain, denial, longing, and questioning that comes with losing a loved one. Through conversations with their father, Emily and Ben embark on a journey of healing and acceptance as they come to realize they can keep their mother’s memory alive—that her love will stay with them always. Using nature as a backdrop for the cycles of life, the family slowly emerges from the darkness of grief to bloom once more.
And Still They Bloom can help friends and family learn appropriate and empathic ways to respond to children’s concerns. This book can be used as a resource to start discussions that will help families along the path toward healing. The story is written for children ages 8 to 12; however, adults who read it will benefit by learning what children may be feeling but are unwilling or unable to express. Adults can also learn ways to model healthy coping and show children that it’s okay to grieve. Loss is a universal part of the human experience—we can’t escape it. But we can learn to use the tools we have available to adapt to our ever-changing world and help others who are hurting.
The loss of a parent or guardian can be especially hard on children, who may experience a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety. Fear and hopelessness can be overwhelming. Why did my loved one die? Why does everything have to change? These kinds of questions can be daunting for any adult to answer, especially one who is also grieving. And though it can be incredibly challenging for both adults and children alike, being able to talk about grief and express a wide range of emotions is an important part of the healing process. Many people can’t find the right words, don’t know what to do, and feel awkward and uncomfortable with these feelings. Many struggle with what to say and how to act. Families in this situation need support, but many are too overwhelmed to ask for help or don’t know where to find it. It can be difficult to open up or to know how to support others in the family who are also grieving. Sometimes, the best gift one can give is to be there for someone hurting, just to listen.
There is no one right way to cope with loss, and each person’s journey will be uniquely his or her own. In addition to writing, I have found solace by working with my hands. It’s a wonderful distraction, but more important, the satisfaction of making things helps me fill the void. Even in my darkest times, I can find light by bring something new to life. I especially love working with alcohol inks and textiles—with all their rich colors and textures. I love the challenge of combining them in different ways. The vibrant colors and patterns offer a reprieve from the emptiness inside.
At first, I started making memorials for my family. Over time, I began to make memorials for others as well. Whatever one chooses to do—whether it’s writing, journaling, gardening, or making crafts—the creative process is life affirming. By channeling emotions through a creative outlet, I have been able to explore my feelings and make sense of them in new and sometimes surprising ways. I have found a path toward healing through creative exploration and through conversations about loss. Through memory and celebration of my loved ones, I have discovered that joy can be found in unexpected places. Reaching out to others who are hurting has also helped ease my burden.
My hope is that Emily and Ben’s story will connect with all readers who have lost a loved one. The message I most want to convey to children is that coping does get easier over time. Even if the hurt of losing a loved one never truly goes away, there are different ways to find solace. And when those feelings surface, it’s okay to grieve. I am thankful that, in publishing my book, the American Cancer Society has allowed me to reach out to grieving families—to share the message that while the pain of loss never completely leaves us, we can find ways to honor our loved ones, keep their memory alive, and find joy again after loss.
with love,
Amy
